I Love You, Always Read online

  I Love You, Always

  by

  Natalie Ward

  Published by Natalie Ward

  This book is also available in print at selected online retailers.

  ISBN-13: 978-0-9874159-2-9

  Copyright 2014 Natalie Ward

  All song lyrics Copyright 2014 Natalie Ward

  All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced, scanned or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission from the author. Please do not participate in or encourage the piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. All characters and storylines are the property of the author and your support and respect for this is appreciated.

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are entirely fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Cover photo Copyright iStockphoto.com.

  Cover created by Sarah Hansen at Okay Creations.

  For more information please come and visit me at http://www.natalieward.com.au

  Track Listing

  ∞

  A Side: the future is full of infinite possibilities

  B Side: never forget your past, it defines who you are today

  Track 1 (A side) – I Love You

  Track 2 (B side) – My Obsession

  Track 3 (A side) – I Need To Tell You

  Track 4 (A side) – A Second In Time

  Track 5 (A side) – Ripped Apart

  Track 6 (A side) – Waiting

  Track 7 (B side) – Changes

  Track 8 (A side) – Just Breathe

  Track 9 (A side) – Nightmares

  Track 10 (A side) – It’s All An Illusion

  Track 11 (B side) – Broken Soul

  Track 12 (A side) – Resistance

  Track 13 (A side) – For You

  Track 14 (A side) – (It’s A Lie) I’m Okay

  Track 15 (B side) – Shattered Dream

  Track 16 (A side) – All Coming Back

  Track 17 (B side) – Revelations

  Track 18 (A side) – Dream Out Loud

  Track 19 (A side) – Crashing Down

  Track 20 (B side) – Invisible

  Track 21 (A side) – Battle Scars

  Track 22 (A side) – Drowning

  Track 23 (A side) – Care Less About You

  Track 24 (A side) – It’s Not Over

  Track 25 (B side) – Unexpected Surprise

  Track 26 (A side) – The End Is Coming

  Track 27 (A side) – Saviour

  Track 28 (A side) – It Is What It Is

  Track 29 (B side) – Her

  Track 30 (A side) – Letting It All Go

  Track 31 (A side) – Goodbyes / New Beginnings

  Track 32 (B side) – Scarred

  Track 33 (A side) – Reflections

  Track 34 (B side) – That Moment

  Track 35 (A side) – My Forever

  Track 36 (B side) – Her Song

  Bonus Track (Deluxe Edition) – And The Story Goes On

  Acknowledgements

  Note from the Author

  This is the third book in the I Love You series.

  All three books contain overlapping characters, events and timelines.

  Reading them in order is highly recommended.

  ∞

  I Love You to Death

  Stubborn Love

  I Love You, Always

  ∞

  ∞

  They say blood is thicker than water,

  But really, it’s love that conquers all.

  And true love, like infinity,

  Is a quantity without bound or end.

  ∞

  ∞

  Luke’s Playlist

  The Lost Boy – Greg Holden

  Everyone’s Waiting – Missy Higgins

  End Of All Days – 30 Seconds to Mars

  Dancing In The Dark – Tegan & Sara (cover)

  City Of Angels – 30 Seconds to Mars

  Best Of You – Foo Fighters

  Hurricane – 30 Seconds to Mars (unplugged)

  Lanterns – Birds of Tokyo

  Where The Streets Have No Name – 30 Seconds to Mars (unplugged cover)

  Kings & Queens – 30 Seconds to Mars (unplugged)

  It’s Time – Imagine Dragons

  Bright Lights – 30 Seconds to Mars

  Closer To The Edge – 30 Seconds to Mars

  Something’s Got To Give – One Republic

  Never Be The Same – The Rubens

  Do Or Die – 30 Seconds to Mars

  I Lived – One Republic

  ∞

  Track 1 (A side) – I Love You

  I love you, I love you, I love you

  There’s really no other way to say it

  Just know, I’ll spend the rest of my life

  Never letting you forget it

  ∞

  Jared and I walk into the apartment. We’ve been practicing all night and tomorrow is when we finally get to play for the record executives. To say we’re excited is an understatement. It’s just after midnight and all the lights are off, the whole place is silent.

  “Maybe they’re still out?” he says.

  I glance towards my bedroom door, which is closed but has a light coming through the gap at the bottom. “Nah, I think they’re both in bed,” I say smiling. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jared shakes his head and rolls his eyes at me, but he’s smiling and I know he gets it.

  I walk into my bedroom and see Ash in bed reading, low music coming from the stereo. “Hey my beautiful girl,” I say, dumping my guitar by the door. I walk towards the bed where she is tucked naked underneath the covers like a Christmas present just waiting to be unwrapped.

  “Hey,” she answers, throwing her book on the side table and leaning over. I bend down to kiss her as I kick off my boots and sit on the bed, asking her how the movie was. Smiling, she answers, “Um, we never got there. Talking too much and we missed the start.”

  I grab her hand and kiss her again. She’s so damn beautiful and the most amazing thing to come home to each night, to wake up next to every morning. I love having her here, actually living with me now. I just love her, so much.

  And right now, I am itching to peel my clothes off and join her under these covers, so I can show her exactly how much I do love her. But Ash is suddenly looking like she wants to tell me something.

  “You okay, Ash?”

  I’m right, because the next words out of her mouth are, “Yes. But I want to tell you something, something important.”

  I focus on her eyes now. She seems nervous as I stroke my fingers gently against her wrist. I can feel the pulse of her heart underneath my thumb. A steady rhythm, which is beating faster than usual tonight.

  “Anything.” Always Asha.

  “Luke…”

  “Yeah?”

  She swallows, her eyes never leaving mine as she takes a long, deep breath and finally says those three words back to me. Those three tiny words that I’ve longed to hear her say. Those three tiny words I’ve said to her only once, but have wanted to repeat every single day since. Those three tiny words that change everything.

  Because they aren’t just three tiny words at all, they are three huge words, and they are three words, which completely blow my fucking mind.

  “…I love you.”

  Fuck me. I have absolutely no idea what else is going on around us anymore. The building could fall down and I wouldn’t even notice. I cannot tear my eyes away from her and before I know it, she is in my arms and I am kissing her. Hard.

  “Please say that again,” I whisper, needing to hear her say the words once more. The words I used to tell myself I didn’t think I needed to hear, b
ut now realise, I desperately wanted to.

  She opens her eyes and we stare at each other, our mouths only inches apart as she says it again. “I love you, I really love you.”

  The groan falls from my mouth and I push her back onto the bed. “Asha, I love you. I love you, so much.”

  “You do?” she asks me, like it could possibly be anything but true.

  I lift my head and meet her stare. My hand holds her face as I tell her what I’ve been holding back for so long now. Three words that describe how I truly feel about her, how I’ve always felt about her. “Yeah, Asha, I really do. I love you, I’ve always loved you.”

  She smiles back at me and I’m kissing her again, softer this time as her arms wrap themselves around me and pull the shirt from my jeans. I need to get these clothes off, I need to touch her, feel her, remove every single barrier that’s between us so I can feel her skin against mine. But she reads my mind and does it for me, her fingers yanking the bottom of my shirt up and over my head now. With my mouth still on hers, I reach down and undo my belt and jeans, push everything off, letting it all fall into a pile on the floor. And then I slide into bed next to her, pulling her into my arms as I roll her on top of me.

  She smiles at me as she leans in and kisses me again, soft and slow this time, slowing everything down as she whispers those magic words to me between each of her kisses.

  “I,” kiss, “love,” kiss, “you,” kiss, “Luke.”

  My fingers brush across her cheek as I stare deep into her eyes, where I can see the truth in these words she’s telling me. My words come out as a whisper, but I know she hears them. “I love you, Asha, always.”

  She smiles and I kiss her this time, rolling us over so she lies beneath me. My body is completely covering hers; every inch of our skin is touching. She exhales, slow and sexy as my hand brushes the hair back from her face, and then slides down her neck to her heart. I can feel it beneath my fingers, beating hard inside her chest, and I know it mirrors exactly what’s going on with mine right now. That the enormity of what has finally been said, out loud and to each other, is affecting us both, in exactly the same way.

  She smiles up at me as I hold my hand against her heart. I watch as she lifts her hand, puts it against my chest and feels the same hard beat of what I feel for her. I lean down to kiss her again and feel her leg slide slowly up the side of my body. I fall into her so easily, it’s perfect. We both groan, and mine only gets louder as she gently tugs on my bottom lip, pulling it between her teeth.

  “Tell me again, Asha,” I whisper.

  She laughs, but it’s breathless, throaty, and sexy as hell. “I love you, Luke,” she moans. Her head presses back into the pillow as I slowly push into her again as the words fall from her lips. She looks incredible, she feels unbelievable. I press a soft kiss to her neck now and she moans again and it turns me on, so fucking much.

  We move together, slowly, gently as I kiss my way back up her neck to her lips. It feels perfect, so unbelievably perfect, like we were made for each other and in this single moment right now, I know, I have never felt anything like this before.

  Never felt anything like what I feel for her, right now.

  I love her.

  Deeply, completely, always.

  And she loves me.

  She. Loves. Me.

  “Again,” I moan against her mouth, my body still moving with hers.

  Her legs wrap around my hips as her fingers dig into my back. “Luke,” she says, griping me tight. “I love you. I love you.” Her eyes are open, watching me as she says these words to me.

  “Asha,” I whisper back, my voice hoarse. “I love you so much, so fucking much.”

  She smiles at me now, a sexy smile that means so much more, and then we both stop talking. Because then, there are no more words left to say. There is only my body, moving with hers. Her body, moving with mine. We move together, our fingers tracing intimate patterns all over each other. Light touches over heated skin. All of my memories and feelings and love for her, traced into her body and branding her with what I feel. My mouth kisses a path across her jaw and down her neck. I press kisses everywhere, all over her soft skin, her lips. She kisses me back, her soft moans only making me harder as I keep moving inside her.

  I slide my hand down the gorgeous curves of her body, over the outline of her ribs, her breast, and down to her hip. I reach the back of her knee and hitch her leg higher, tighter around my body, my other hand sliding under her back as she arches towards me. I pull her even closer as we keep moving together. Our breathing gets faster, but our bodies stay slow, savouring each other, savouring this moment.

  “Asha…” I groan against her lips. I am so fucking close now and I want her so badly. I need her. So badly.

  “Luke,” she moans into my mouth and I’m going to lose it any second. I push deeper into her, slowly, but still so desperate for her. My arm tightens around her, my fingers digging into her ribs as I keep pushing into her, again and again.

  “Luke, fuck…Luke,” she suddenly groans.

  I feel her, I feel her come undone around me and I can’t stop it anymore, I let go. I let everything go and I lose myself in her. “Asha, I love you. I love you.” The words fall from my mouth over and over again, unstoppable now that I can finally say them so freely. Now they have been said back to me. Now I really do know she feels the exact same way.

  We both breathe out. “I love you.”

  I pull back a little, our foreheads still touching, our breathing harder but our mouths smiling at the words we have both uttered together, to each other.

  I love you.

  Nothing can beat this moment, nothing.

  When I glance at the clock, I see it’s 1:37 a.m. I should be sleeping, but I can’t because too much has happened and I feel buzzed, energised, alive. I’m pretty sure Ash is asleep beside me now, her breathing is soft and slow, and I’m content to just lie here and watch her for as long as it takes me to fall asleep. Although at this point, I feel like I could stay awake forever.

  Luke…I love you.

  It’s like a continuous loop running through my head and I still can’t believe she’s actually said those words.

  Out loud.

  To me.

  The same words that fell out of my mouth so long ago. The same words I wanted to say to her from the moment I first met her. The same words I used to whisper silently to her every night we were together, but which I can now say out loud whenever I want to.

  Luke…I love you.

  I replay the moment over and over again. Her hand in mine, her pulse beneath my fingers, the look on her face as she said it, the feel of her body as I pulled her against me, the hard kiss, asking her to say it again, hearing the words fall from her mouth, the smile on her face.

  Luke…I love you.

  Asha, I love you too, so much.

  I run my fingers lightly across her collarbone as I realise, right now, I feel the happiest I have ever felt in my entire life. This moment, right now, beats absolutely everything; meeting her, that first kiss, singing her that song, our first night together, waking up with her in my arms the next morning. Because right now, what I feel is an unbelievable, amazing and indescribable amount of love for this woman. I don’t think I can ever fully explain to her just how much. Words aren’t enough. Those three words don’t seem like nearly enough for her.

  A song, there’s always a song to create for her though. Always. And those words are constantly running through my head, especially right now.

  My fingers move down, sliding the covers lower and I watch as they gently move over the bare skin of her stomach. The music that was playing earlier has stopped and the only sound in the room is her soft breathing as I slowly move through some chords, imagining how they’ll sound against the words now running through my head. I’m trying to find the notes, the right combination to go with these words, but I’m completely mesmerised just watching my fingers move over her body.

  “What are you
doing?” she suddenly whispers to me.

  I smile. “Creating.”

  “Creating?” she asks.

  My head is resting on my hand, propped up on my elbow, next to her pillow. I glance at her and see she has one eye open in question, not sleeping after all. I smile as I lean in and softly kiss her lips. “Yes, creating. A song,” I whisper against her mouth.

  She kisses me back and asks, “Are your fingers playing some notes?”

  “Uh huh.”

  “What do they sound like?” she asks, raising her arms above her head and giving me more room to work.

  “Amazing,” I whisper.

  She exhales a long, slow breath out, her body moving beneath me. My fingers slip; distracted by her movements, by the way her body shifts underneath them. “And the words?” she asks. “What are the words about?”

  I smile again, leaning in to kiss her neck this time. “You, Asha, they’re always about you.” I kiss my way down to her collarbone and she moans, a low, primal sound from deep within her chest. My body reacts the way it always does when she makes that noise and I can no longer hear what my imaginary notes sound like, my fingers sliding over her and unable to find them anymore. The notes she’s making right now sound so much better.

  “Am I your instrument?” she asks, understanding exactly what I’m doing to her.

  I whisper against her skin. “You are, Asha.”

  Arching her back towards my hand, her next words undo something inside of me and make my whole body melt against hers. “Luke?”

  “Yeah?”

  “…Play me?”

  I can only groan, before I lean in and do exactly what she’s asked me to.

  I press kisses along her shoulder, my nose running over her skin as I inhale her. Asha moans again and this time I’m brushing my fingers over her skin. I run them all the way down her chest, her stomach, and right between her legs. She moans louder now and my stomach flips. She sounds beautiful, these noises she’s making, and all of the notes I was dreaming up have long since gone.

  My mouth is on her neck again and she tilts her head, giving me more access. I kiss and bite her skin, up her neck until I reach her jaw. Ash turns her face towards me and my lips are on hers now. “Tell me again,” I whisper against them.